I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
