ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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