I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
not ubering you a puppy
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
