the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
