i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
