Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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