We're like a lot better than the average bears
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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