I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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