His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
