Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
