I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
