I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
