If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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