We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Holy sore nipples Batman
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
