Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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