Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
