so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
