What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
