Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
