well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
