is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
