I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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