His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
