kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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