I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
