Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
