And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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