I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
