I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
bring money and cleavage
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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