Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i've created a new STD.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
