Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
