Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
