Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize