then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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