You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
