Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
