very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
