I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
