i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
