Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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