She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
