let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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