ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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