If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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