so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Everything about him screamed your future.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
