Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
