official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
