Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
