If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
