hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
