Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
