don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
