Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
