I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
