i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I am mentally ready for anal.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
