"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
