I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's never too late to be topless.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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