So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
