It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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