What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize