We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
