Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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