Where is the hickey?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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