Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
