can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
