Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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