think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
